My name is Kim and I am a former junkie/heroine addict of 7 years. During 5 of those 7 years I was in a methadone treatment program and I just recently graduated from the program! Yippee! I know it seems like such a long ass time for me to be on the methadone program but I honestly do not regret how long it has taken me to finally get my life back again. There are a lot of people in recovery that will say that I was not clean because I was on methadone but I'm here to tell you dammit, I was! I have been clean from heroine and opiates for 4+ years now and I no longer wake up each morning trying to score my next high to make myself fell well or normal. I was not addicted to methadone, I was dependent on methadone. There is a huge difference! I no longer lived on the streets begging for change, I no longer stole, cheated and lied to loved ones, corporations and random people to just get by; that is what being addicted is. It makes you loose yourself, your morals, your goals, your dreams, your hobbies and everything that once made you, you. Being dependent does not make you loose yourself, your goals and your dreams, to me its the same thing as someone taking their medication in the morning; its routine and helps you get healthier and better than you where before.


There is so much negative stigma around methadone and it all comes from misinformation and ignorance. It's sad and heart breaking to the ones that have effectively graduated from the treatment program like I have. It sucks to be looked down upon from friends, family, coworkers and other addicts for choosing the methadone program but for some of us that's our only option! I did not have the luxury of getting into an in-treatment addiction program like so many others have, and to be quite frank I don't think it would have worked for me. I was all on my own and I, myself, checked in and made the decision to seek treatment through methadone. I have been ashamed for years about it and I'm hear to say enough is enough, I am proud of myself and I want others to know my experience and to hopefully help any one else out there that may need the guidance or info about what my personal experience was with methadone. I think I deserve a huge FUCKIN high five for defeating my heroine addiction and graduating from the methadone maintenance program!

Methadone has saved my life and anyone who has negative thoughts about the methadone maintenance program should either shut up and listen to what I have to say or just leave this blog page now. I stand 100% behind it and will be an avid advocate for the methadone programs. I have regained my life back and couldn't be more proud of myself in doing so. We are currently in an opioid epidemic in America and if it has not effected you in some way through a loved one dying, loved one being addicted or you yourself being addicted to it then god bless you! Im happy you have not had to go through this pain. It is killing more than 130 Americans everyday, and now has become a public health crisis with devastating consequences. Currently the U.S. Department Of Health and Social Services are focusing their efforts on improving access to treatment and recovery services, promoting use of overdose-reversing drugs, strengthening the publics understanding of the epidemic, providing support and research on pain and addiction and advancing better practices for pain management. Methadone programs are a part of this effort to improving access to treatment and recovery!


When I first got on methadone I had high hopes that I would only need to be on it for a year and I would be free from addiction and dependency but with not much info on the internet about it from fellow patients I went into the program blindly. Thats why I am writing this, is to help inform those about what to expect out of the methadone treatment so they can have a better understanding of it. It will take you a lot longer than one year for the methadone treatment to be effective. Now if there is anyone out there who has discharged themselves after one year from methadone treatment and stayed abstinent I applaud you and would love to hear your story! But from what I have gathered it can take 3 years or more depending on your treatment goals and how well you stick to them. It took me 5 years! One thing I will say is do not get discouraged!!! If you are staying abstinent and feel you have control of your life once again please stop beating yourself up and give yourself a huge pat on the back. You did the hardest part, you no longer are an addict, you are just dependent.

What I learned from methadone was to listen to my body and take it slow, the slower you go either up on your dose or down, the better outcome you will get from the treatment. When your an opiate addict you forget what its like to listen to your body because we become so accustom to being "numb". The quicker you try to get off the more likely your chances are of falling off the beaten path again. Just take one day at a time and be thankful you are in a treatment program receiving the care you need. Be proud that you have sought after the help that was needed and are fighting the odds that are against you. I always use to beat myself up time and time again for the length of time I was in this program but its ok, be positive, stick to the goals you and your counselor set together and if they change that's ok. We are always changing as humans, especially now that we are once again becoming "normal" "functioning"  adults. Most importantly listen, listen, listen to your body. When I was tapering down on my methadone if I started to get withdrawal symptoms I stepped back from my treatment goal and reassessed it once again. Now if and when you do start to taper down I always took it 5 mg at a time until I got to about 20mg and thats where the real part of the listening to your body begins. The slower you take it the better outcome you will have. Don't be scared to not be dependent anymore, be excited! If you continue to reach for your goal of getting off of methadone you will one day be able to not be dependent anymore. Your time will come. It took me a long time but it finally happened and I couldn't be more proud of myself. Like someone once told me I have lived a thousand lives in one, I have felt pain, struggle, addiction, happiness, grief, loss, judgment, love, etc.