Sober Mommy
I am a recovering heroin addict and I can’t tell you enough how proud I am of myself! I have come a long, hard road to get to where I am today. I had lost everything near and dear to me from heroin; I lived on the streets, begged on the corners, stole, lied and cheated my way through life for 6 long-ass years. Then one day I finally had enough and started to work my way through recovery. It's not an easy road to travel, there will always be setbacks, relapses and lots of much-needed time to heal and amend all the relationships you may have damaged along the way, but recovery from heroin is 100% possible! You just have to want it that bad and most importantly don't be afraid to ask for help! I finally was in that position and was ready to take on rehabilitation headfirst. Once I did I slowly started gaining my life back in ways, I never could have imagined. I am a mom, full-time manager at a cafe, a newfound blogger and soon to be wife to an amazing, loving man. It has taken me a long time to break the chains of addiction and see what life is like again without depending on heroin anymore but goddammit here I am!
During my time of recovery, and still to this day, I have looked all over the internet for a site where like-minded individuals talk about the struggles they face as a recovering addict and ways we can empower ourselves to help and encourage one another on the path to continue recovery. No matter how many years, days, or months you may be clean every day will be a struggle. It gets easier and easier over time but there will always be that little voice in your mind or that itch you feel to just break down and use just one more time. But please do not! We have come so far in our journey to just give up. Think about the people you would affect and remember how hard it has been for you to get to the stage you are at. I wanted to create a place where recovering addicts can come to find inspiration on continuing to keep on the right path and I knew my blog could be just that place.
I will talk about my struggles, trials and tribulations I faced in recovery and the social stigma addicts still face today with shaming. Yes, I know there will still be those who judge me, talk behind my back and look down upon me for the things I may discuss or even just from the sheer thought of me being a recovering addict. But I am here to say I will no longer hide in the shadows of fear for what others may think. For I am a damn lioness and you will hear me roar!! 🦁 If you can not handle the truth I am about to speak then this blog may not be for you, and that's a shame; not me being an addict. If we want to stop seeing those we love and care for from drug overdoses, then we need to speak openly and freely about it! It's time for us to educate those who may not know about addiction; which let's be honest our society still does not understand what to do about the drug war. We need to focus more on treatment than we do on the war. It’s now time for us to educate the public of this tragedy that is affecting our nation on a national level and hopefully one day soon we can start to see more affordable resources given to addicts in need for treatment and harm reduction.
For the longest time, I was so down on myself for the things I did while being a heroin addict. I wanted to tuck it away in a locked box and shove it into a very deep, dark closet and never look back again. But once I reached a milestone in my recovery process; mending old wounds which happened at about 31/2 years for me, I knew it was time to stop hiding and try to find ways I could start helping others that may be in the same boat I once used to be.
My daughter was one of the main reasons I have stayed on track in my recovery process. She is my moon and sun and means more to me than anything else in this world. She is the reason for why I have stayed strong for so long. If there are ever any thoughts, itches or desires that I may have to get high they are quickly swept away by images of her sweet smiling face. After such thoughts have crossed my mind I then think of what her life would be like without me here because her mother decided to relapse and overdosed. How ultimately selfish and cruel of me to even think or act upon doing it again! I am a mother now and I have someone that depends on me day in and day out. Relapsing now would be the worst mistake I have ever made in my lifetime and I have made a lot but I will not let that happen, not in a hundred million years. My daughter is my rock and I don't think she will ever know how much she has helped shape me into the woman I was always meant to be. She will never know I have always needed her more than she will ever need me in one lifetime.
So heres a shout out to all those in recovering; keep up the amazing fucking work and high fives to you! Stay strong my friends ✋👍
If you have a story you would like to share on this blog about how addiction has affected you or you want to write about your own personal journey through recovery please email me at gratefulmomintraining@gmail.com and Let's chat!
